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Gratitude... It's All Better Than Good
On this FREE HUG day (join us in Concord, NH for Free Hug event today), this post came across my Facebook stream from 11:11 Awakening Code. I'd say is was quite perfect... just had to share. May it open your Heart and nurture the Goodness inside.
We’ve all heard how important it is to maintain an “attitude of gratitude,” but this is not as easy as one might think – It takes practice! So with that in mind, start small… be grateful that you’re still breathing. Expanding your attention outwards, be aware of your existence in the grand scheme of life here on Earth and what an honor and privilege it is to participate in the unfolding story of us. Be grateful for your senses, your gifts and your talents. Moving outward, be grateful for the people in your life and the lessons you have learned from them, even if the only lesson was defining what type of person you don’t want to be! Expanding ever outward, be grateful for the fact that this planet is filled with far more goodness and light than evil and darkness. For every murder there are millions of acts of kindness. For every plane crash hundreds of thousands of planes fly safely. For every angry person you meet there is an uncountable army of people doing their best to live in joy and compassion. Now, once you’re in the habit of being thankful for all that is good, the real challenge begins. For like unconditional love, there is also a state of unconditional gratitude, a state of mind and spirit where you are grateful not just for all the wonderful things in life, but for EVERY thing in life: The illness, the uncertainty, the loss… all of these can serve to raise your awareness and vibration, and so are also things that we can be grateful for.
Today’s breathwork/meditation suggestion: Take a few minutes right now to center and calm yourself. Breathe deeply and slowly, imagining that you can direct the energy of that breath into the 4th chakra/energy center located directly behind your ribcage. It may help to visualize a color, so visualize a soothing green flowing into your body and settling around your heart. As you do this, affirm to yourself that above all else, you are here to love. You literally exist to love and be loved. Take pleasure in knowing that when all else fails, you can access a part of you that does one thing and one thing only: love. Realize that any judgment, resentment, anger or need for justice comes from other areas of your consciousness, but right now your attention is focused on the fountain of love that is always pumping steadily inside of you. Be in awe of its capability! Mean people? Loves them. Rough situations? Loves them. In this moment, allow yourself to truly feel and hear the loving voice of God/Source/Love residing within you. Let every cell in your body know that it is being energized by love. Finally, release this love out into the world… let it be the first thing that people feel about you. They will, and that’s when miracles happen.
With the deepest of gratitude and peace,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
Shanti@8limbsholistichealth.com
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Energies of Peace
Twitter Shanti8limbsHH
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
"THANKFUL THURSDAY” Reminder and 4th Chakra Activation:
We’ve all heard how important it is to maintain an “attitude of gratitude,” but this is not as easy as one might think – It takes practice! So with that in mind, start small… be grateful that you’re still breathing. Expanding your attention outwards, be aware of your existence in the grand scheme of life here on Earth and what an honor and privilege it is to participate in the unfolding story of us. Be grateful for your senses, your gifts and your talents. Moving outward, be grateful for the people in your life and the lessons you have learned from them, even if the only lesson was defining what type of person you don’t want to be! Expanding ever outward, be grateful for the fact that this planet is filled with far more goodness and light than evil and darkness. For every murder there are millions of acts of kindness. For every plane crash hundreds of thousands of planes fly safely. For every angry person you meet there is an uncountable army of people doing their best to live in joy and compassion. Now, once you’re in the habit of being thankful for all that is good, the real challenge begins. For like unconditional love, there is also a state of unconditional gratitude, a state of mind and spirit where you are grateful not just for all the wonderful things in life, but for EVERY thing in life: The illness, the uncertainty, the loss… all of these can serve to raise your awareness and vibration, and so are also things that we can be grateful for.
Today’s breathwork/meditation suggestion: Take a few minutes right now to center and calm yourself. Breathe deeply and slowly, imagining that you can direct the energy of that breath into the 4th chakra/energy center located directly behind your ribcage. It may help to visualize a color, so visualize a soothing green flowing into your body and settling around your heart. As you do this, affirm to yourself that above all else, you are here to love. You literally exist to love and be loved. Take pleasure in knowing that when all else fails, you can access a part of you that does one thing and one thing only: love. Realize that any judgment, resentment, anger or need for justice comes from other areas of your consciousness, but right now your attention is focused on the fountain of love that is always pumping steadily inside of you. Be in awe of its capability! Mean people? Loves them. Rough situations? Loves them. In this moment, allow yourself to truly feel and hear the loving voice of God/Source/Love residing within you. Let every cell in your body know that it is being energized by love. Finally, release this love out into the world… let it be the first thing that people feel about you. They will, and that’s when miracles happen.
With the deepest of gratitude and peace,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
Shanti@8limbsholistichealth.com
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Energies of Peace
Twitter Shanti8limbsHH
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
Continue On!
In this final day of the on-line Complaint-Free Challenge, step back and notice what's shifted in your life: in your words, thoughts, actions, habits, and values. Ultimately, all create change and bring you closer to the destiny you seek. What shifts in awareness and presence have you noticed? What habits have transformed or perhaps been released completely? Are there deeper connection points to self or others - more honesty, less frustration, greater acceptance?
For me, I am filled with joy and gratitude for each day and all the moments that it brings. There always seems to be a few hidden nuggets underneath the dirt and I’m grateful for being able to recognize and pull them out as jewels. There have been many teachers for me this past month - some known and some unknown. My 12 year old has been very insightful and, to all those folks driving slowly in front of me, a gentle bow to you. Patience has increased, accompanied by allowing things to be other than I might prefer them to be. I’ve noticed that as my resistance decreases, so does the imaginative story that my inner critic creates. This was often one of self-righteousness and separation so I am VERY thankful it’s disappearing quickly. There are so many other ways besides mine that work and it’s lovely to let my experience be just one of the many contained in the cosmos. Letting the moment go as a river, it soon returns to it's natural source in the ocean. Creating a dam with "Damn!" only causes the flood gates to overflow, bringing destruction where none should be.
Many folks have participated in this Challenge month. Here are some of the comments and insights gathered along the way. And please don't let the month being over stop you from continuing. This has just been a stepping off point in the journey.
In the Beginning:
~ This is absolutely terrifying to me. It's not that I do a lot of complaining, but when I do, I like it! I can't imagine what else I would do to get rid of all that toxic stuff.
~ This is terrifying to me, too. I think I complain a lot, and much of it from habit. I think I appreciate this wake-up call to be more aware of that, to stop, to make other choices.
~ Failing miserably today - I'm having a do-over tomorrow!
~ Joined today, put blue band on right wrist, took dog for a run, complained when he peed on his leash. Blue band on left wrist and refocused lol! What a great help this is to be mindful!
~ Still trying to square the difference between complaining and constructive criticism. : )
~ Sarcasm' s a tough one for me...
~ I have to admit I still need to work on not commenting on situations when they arise, I'm trying to be more positive but when it's a subject that's just not that positive I need to work on not saying anything!! And I need to practice what I preach!! I've been doing a great job on giving advice I just need to work on it myself.
~ I am just going to keep me mouth shut! Lol
Developing Insights:
~ So, for me, I think the awareness is what is actual complaining (just griping to gripe) and what is a sincere expression of hardship; what warrants a response of empathy and compassion (this is really where I think the root of all the actual complaining is, but that's a much longer text), and what just needs to be ignored or called out. I'm also noticing that the energy of the complaint is still there, whether spoken or unspoken, and that all depends on our feelings and judgments about any given event or situation, but I'm going to shut my pie-hole now and do some work LOL
~ Breathing and having an Attitude of Gratitude help me........and I need lots of help....I love the Glad Game and Smiling is my favorite!!!
~ I had a great success yesterday. One of my workmates was complaining - mildly, but complaining - and with some compassionate re-framing he saw a better way! It's amazing what can happen when we replace common, relatively innocent judgements with broad acceptance and compassion. Entire outlooks, moods, people's days and even entire lives can change! We just have to stop being so ready to complain!!
~ It helps me to think of and promote 'beginners mind'... that I have something to learn from everyone.. and every thing..and every event.... So as I process... I ask myself "What am I to learn from this?".... that softens my mind... not 100%.. but it helps!
Gratitude:
~ Thank you for opening my eyes to more positive thinking input
~ This has awakened bringing in the practice of mindfulness for me in general. Becoming aware of the negative toxic energy is an eye opener! ♥ .
~ I have made it through 2 day's!!
~ I am going to keep going...
~ Thank you! I super enjoyed doing this. I am far from perfect however love the challenge & intend to continue working on it. xo
Continue On!! This is not the end. THIS IS IT. There is no other time than the present moment to arrive and become aware of all of your gifts and attributes. Be kind and gentle, first with yourself, and then spread that sunshine out into the world. WE CAN make this Earth home a better place; one word, one thought, one action, one step at time.
With the deepest of gratitude and peace,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
Shanti@8limbsholistichealth.com
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Energies of Peace
Twitter Shanti8limbsHH
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
Unconscious Competence - Stage 4... Finally
“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”
~ Abraham Lincoln
~ Abraham Lincoln
The finally Stage of Competency, Unconscious Competence, arrives when our habit of being complaint-free is fully integrated. We no longer have to think about switching words or converting thoughts as our view of and reaction to the world has softened to one of kindness and understanding. Paraphrasing Ghandi, “We have become the change we wish to see.” Yeah!!
As we look around our world and the experiences we have, challenges and struggles are now seen as opportunities for improvement and personal development. We notice the tiny gifts laid in between our perceptual differences of how we would prefer things to be and and how they actually are. Having a greater sense of ease both with ourselves and in relationship, we approach delicate situations with openness and calm. With the unbiased eye of a Witness, there is greater acceptance of what is.
Personally, we feel more empowered in our life as WE, not circumstance, are taking charge. Kindness, compassion, and understanding are reflected in the choices we make because that’s “just how we are” now. Life is good because we “choose to have it be that way”. Our modus operandi has changed. Instead of being subject to whatever implodes or explodes around us, WE now decide what is allowed in our energy sphere. If negativity is too high, we either change the situation or remove ourselves.
It’s kind of like when you decide to quit smoking, not because your head tells you it’s the right thing to do but because your heart knows it’s the right to do. You’d never think of going back to smoking. Even though you can’t believe that you smoked before (OMG!), wit compassion you understand that you did and are happy that you no longer do. When folks show up in your life that are smoking, you immediately make a choice not to stand around them or will do whatever is necessary to help them quit if they want. Either way, smoking is no longer part of your life.
With the choice to be more positive, life tends to show up and encourage that perspective. Happy things "fall into place" and people that support this way of being appear. As you become more mentally attractive, positive people enjoy your company more. It's no doubt that like attracts like. With an attitude of gratitude and appreciation, grateful and appreciative folks now become your Circle of Peeps. As we synchronistically entrain one another in behavior and style, an cycle of higher vibration is created. Our environment becomes richer with goodness, compassion, kindness, and peace.
This isn’t to mean that every moment of our lives feels fairy high but it does mean that the foundation of how we look, feel, touch, smell, and engage with the world is very different. Our approach and perception has changed. We know that while we can’t change another, we do have influence. How we treat ourselves, each other, and the world has impact. Each one of us has choice. Fantastic!! What are you going to do with yours???
With gratitude for our continued journey of personal enlightenment and peaceful living,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
Shanti@8limbsholistichealth.com
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Energies of Peace
Twitter Shanti8limbsHH
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
Perception is Deception
In Buddhism, there’s a saying “Where there is perception, there is deception.” Everything we see arrives from a framework that is based solely on our perception. Our perception, or view, is based upon all the experiences we've had, our developed belief systems, our level of consciousness, and everything contained within our history.
No two perceptions are alike and thus no two experiences of the same situation are alike. For example, if you stood at one corner of a room and had to describe it in detail from the perspective of where you were standing, it would be completely opposite of the description someone standing on the other side of the room would give. Both of you would swear that you were right but who would actually be right? This awareness is very helpful to know when we are in relationship or when we are trying to resolve an issue. No two people see things exactly the same way.
When we complain or criticize, rather than diminishing what we criticize, our criticism often only serves to expand it. We find fault when we criticize. When this fault is projected towards another person, this only makes them want to justify their behavior. We actually give them permission to act as we have labeled them. If we call someone lazy, they will adjust themselves to meet the expectations of the “lazy” label. Defenses can rise and they may even strike back with escalation. Anyone with a teenager knows what I'm talking about. Criticism only furthers a response that is unhealthy, unproductive, and extremely harmful to the relationship and Self.
Stepping back, what perception do you have of one person versus another? Do your judgments of them guide your thoughts and expectations, which then translate to your words and actions? Do you narrow your focus of them and their circumstance to meet your expectation, then feel justified in your assessment? Can you instead see and think with Beginner's Mind, opening the space of interaction to unfold without bias? Choose any person or situation and see what perceptual deception you may have. If you could ease or release some judgments, would the interaction change? Could it be more peaceful or productive? Could understanding, or the desire for understanding, be brought to the forefront and transform relationship?
Opening our mind’s eye and having awareness that our basic view is flawed helps us to loosen up. We can let go of the need for things to be "our way" because, in reality, our way isn't 1) the only way or 2) the right way. It's only A way. When desiring deeper relationship, there can be Another way. This is one that has both parties listening to (not just hearing) one another, to gaining understanding of the other’s view, and to coming to a solution that can fit both corners of the room, even if that means that an altogether different angle be used as the anchor.
Don't shy away from your perceptual deception. Embrace it as a gift of developing awareness of the unique individual you are - and everyone else around you. You might be amazed as the level of awesomeness those closest to you have when you really see them with lenses of open Love, Appreciation, and Gratitude.
With Much Peace,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Energies of Peace
Twitter Shanti8limbsHH
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
Silence, a Healthy Friend
As we are developing our fantastic habit of reframing complaint to kindness, there may be periods of silence as we slow down and try to figure out how to transform our thought into being pleasant or positive. Click, click, click... the mind works at lightening speed to figure out the most beneficial combination of environment and expression. The more challenging the situation, the longer the external silence.
While your mind is busy reframing, I invite you to embrace some of that external silence inward. Slow down, breathe, and become present to what is. Allow the silence to penetrate your presence for even a single moment. There’s quite a bit contained there. Can you touch it... feel it... hear it? What’s in it for you?
Silence is a wonderful gift and I think my most favored thing. It offers the opportunity to express from our higher Self versus our human self. Silence offers the space to connect with the Truth of our intention and for the words to arrive that will accurately convey our desired message. It also provides time for us to reflect and check in, to make sure that we are speaking with kindness and using words constructively versus destructively. Mindful speech is an important part of a peaceful and connected life - to have awareness of who and how we are showing up to a situation and the impact of our engagement with the other. Words can be tricky and easily misplaced if not supported with positive body language and tone. Having awareness of the greater reach beyond basic vocabulary is important so maintain presence when speaking.
And if no words come, thoroughly enjoy the silence. Perhaps the silence is realizing that what we had to say was meaningless, frivolous, or simple mindless chatter. Let’s fill the world with heart-energy of love and kindness, communicating with great care and joyful intention.
Have a peaceful day, moment by moment. With much peace and gratitude,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
Conscious Competence - Stage 3
In the third stage of Complaint Free Competence, Conscious Competence, our diligence and effort are paying off. YEAH! Awareness of an impending complaint is high and we are able to stop ourselves from expressing it with greater ease. Sputtered and muttered under our breath has disappeared and we are able to switch our words to be more positive. Thought patterns are also engaged in this larger awareness as the mind’s process of developing a complaint is interrupted midstream. With this reframing, we begin to step back more in observation of what is in front of us.
Beginner’s Mind - seeing with fresh eyes even those things we’ve seen a million times before - starts to become part of our mindsight during Conscious Competence. What fresh perspective can we have? What assumption can we let go of? Instead of getting angry or frustrated in relationship, does a possibility exist that we don’t know all of the circumstance that led another to be or act as they are? Are we able to offer benefit of the doubt that they are doing the best that they can and, as a further offering, provide a “free space” from judgment or correction? By opening the thought space and widening our view of an experience, something other than judgment is allowed to show up. What a delicious and inviting space! What can we nurture and create here? What gifts are ready to be received?
The “switch” is on!
With much peace and gratitude,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
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Conscious Incompetence - Stage 2
The second Stage of Competency, Conscious Incompetence, is when we become aware of, and uncomfortable with, how many times we complain. Based upon the generous amount of feedback received from folks through this Complaint Free Challenge, this has been happening right along.
Even though the release of frustration may feel good when we initially complain, stepping back to notice how we truly feel in that moment of complaint will reveal that it’s usually not very good. As we become more conscious of our words and actions, we may begin to feel guilty and ashamed for releasing another yucky set of words. Our heightened awareness reveals a negativity that permeates around us when we complain, like a black mist spreading out. It can be infectious as well, further spreading its tentacles to folks in our path. Others may start to feel justified in their complaints, sharing these even louder than they would have otherwise, or they may back away from the unsettled way our black mist makes them feel. Organically, we know that we’re not improving the situation with our complaints and instead fueling the fire, both internally and externally. Lots of uncomfortableness.
Well, I say “Hooray” to the uncomfortableness! Change never happens within a comfort zone so this discomfort is a positive sign that we are moving forward in our quest for a Complaint Free existence. Whenever we are uncomfortable, it’s a signal of something that is out of balance and that needs change. Whether in our physical or mental posture, we naturally move towards harmony and balance. With this request for harmony now generating more deeply from our strong heart-mind, change is an imbued response that will show up because it is a sought state. We try harder because we have a goal that is important to us on many levels. It’s not just something that we tell ourselves we should do but instead an approach to life that we NEED to have. We will feel whole when our body, mind, and world are in balance and harmony. With gratitude, the next stage, Conscious Competence, is not so far away. Yeah!
I wish you the best of the best. May peace and harmony be the rays of sunshine that keep your day bright.
With much peace and gratitude,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
If you're enjoying these connections, please SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG.
Welcome Terrific Tuesday!
From No Moan - Magical Monday, glide right in to Terrific Tuesday!
And for those over-the-top differences, try this expression on for size (without sarcasm, of course) “That’s Fascinating!!” Let fascination override the situation, even if you need to think of yourself as a scientist observing a strange and different world. Notice how the constrictive energy of criticism changes in your body and brain when you become open and curious. Tensions release around the need for things to be structured as you see fit and instead you can observe with greater gentleness the unfolding of whatever resides in the moment.
Listening quietly is the beginning step to Love so make this a Terrific Tuesday with open-hearted kindness to self and others.
With much peace and gratitude,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
Make this a NO MOAN MONDAY
Some Mondays we are able to stay on task and within plan. During other Mondays, though, 8:15 shows up and the whole thing goes out the window. Priorities override one another and frustration and exhaustion can build as we look back and the day is completely lopsided to how we had it planned.
However this Monday goes, be OK with it. If it ebbs and flows away from your initial plan, try to reign it in with time and task management structures. Stop at various points through the day to check in with yourself and your engagement with the day. Is it overridden with one-pointed direction of Doing, no matter what!!, or can you slow down and Be with whatever shows up, allowing the Being to create space wherein you can consciously choose the next appropriate step?
Becoming aware and creating space takes practice and patience. Resisting the urge to complain or criticize takes diligence and effort. Put on your force field and make this Monday a NO MOAN MONDAY. Use your breath as a stopping point whenever you feel the urge to express your frustration or dissatisfaction. As you breathe in, bring coolness to the heat of the complaint. As you breathe out, let the complaint’s hot energy flow right out of you like a mist disappearing into the cosmos. If you need to, just breathe with awareness all day. It’ll feel really good and at the end you might just call it Magical Monday.
Peace and Gratitude to You. Thank you for your sharing and caring. Please continue to share your experiences Here as a Blog Comment - SUBSCRIBE - or on the Facebook Event page.
With much peace and gratitude,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
4 Stages of Competency
As we move through the Complaint Free Challenge, it’s helpful to have awareness that there are 4 normal Stages of Competency to our change. Knowing these will help to ease frustration of where we are in the process and also give us continued support and enthusiasm for furthering our peace work.
The 4 Stages are Competency are:
- Unconscious Incompetence
- Conscious Incompetence
- Conscious Competence
- Unconscious Competence
Unconscious Incompetence
During this initial stage we are on auto-pilot and pretty much in the dark about what we are doing. Rarely is there recognition that we are even complaining, it’s just “the regular gripe”. Unconsciously, we perceive there is a benefit to complaining. Complaining allows us to receive attention, agreement, or sympathy. It helps us voice our opinion so others know where we stand, and verbally guides our vision of “right” and “wrong”. It oftentimes even creates community as we all hang around the water cooler and yack it out about our boss, a coworker, or a life situation. Eventually we identify with our complaint and think that it’s true, even if a new situation is different or circumstance has changed.
Notice the next time you complain. What is your goal or intention? What are you hoping to achieve or receive? Ask yourself if you are really getting what you want by complaining. Is there a better and more productive way to achieve your goals?
Perhaps the circumstance feels terribly bad. Can you, in that situation, switch your words to one of neutrality, to stating facts, to be an Observer instead of an Engager? Are you able to express how hurt you feel from an “I” perspective, or communicate simply that your perception is one that sees things differently. Are you able to let the circumstance be as it is without antagonizing it further?
Take some time to reflect.
As you continue to move towards Stage 2, I will remind you to be kind and gentle to yourself. Don’t judge the Judger. For every complaint that you notice, offer yourself heart-felt gratitude for your developing awareness. Deeply ingrained habits are being touched, poked, and prodded so walk gently and easily.
Thank you for taking part and creating a happier, healthier, and more loving World. Please continue to share your experiences Here as a Blog Comment or on the Facebook Event page.
With much peace and gratitude,
Shanti
Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness and Stress Management Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
www.8limbsholistichealth.com
Concord, NH
603.228.9007
